Understand
by school-hetic
Summary: Brothers, Friends, Enemys, People. That is what we are People. We end up with this problem of being what we are, not what we want. So what if he is my brother.
1. Chapter 1

I told the guys that the only reason that I went after Haley was to get at Lucas. I know that lying was a sin. Well that is ok. I just want all of this attention. I want him to look at me even if it is just hate. That way I know that he won't forget about me.

I know that it is stupid and that he is my older brother, half-brother. I get even hotter for the fact he is already half mine. I know that he will never except that he is blood related to me. The fact that my blood created something that was that hot and smexy is mind blowing.

The shower is one place that is to get rid of hard-ons but damn I am getting one. I can just imagine him in here calling me dirty names and laughing at me, but I would not care because he would have to stand there and see me, watch me.

I can just see his sleepy blue eyes staring at me as I got myself off. "Ah….ah... Lucas..."

The next thing I do know is that the blue eyes switch to brown. "Nate…Did you just…I going to leave now…" and out goes Haley.

'Dang that is not good. If she knows, she'll tell Lucas and I'll never see him again because he'll kill me.' Grabbing a towel and covering my now soft rod, I run after her.

She is sitting, fidgeting, on the couch that I have in my apartment. She looks up at me when I walk in to the room. She has the ability that makes me feel that I should not be in my house at this moment in time.

"Haley, listen, it was not as it seemed…" I tried.

"So you weren't…doing that thing….to the thought of Lucas?" She countered.

I look at her and decide that I need to tell her the truth because she is the only one on my team at this point in time. "Yes I was jerking off to the thought of Lucas. I am sorry Haley."

I watch as her face darkens and the water works happen. I walk up to her and hug her. She did not even push me away. As she continued to cry, I thought of a plan to keep her here in my corner. She might no longer be my girlfriend but she is now important to me.

I felt her stop shivering and I pull away, figuring that she now does not want anything from me. I look down as she looked up.

"Hey." I whispered.

"You were using me to get to him just in different way. Nate you're an ass, but you must really like him if you are willing to do this."

"So you don't hate me?"

"No, not really but you need to understand that it is going to take a while for me to trust you completely again. I do trust you for the fact that you told the truth but it will take time….That explains a lot."

"What you mean?"

"The way you tried to overdo yourself when it came to me and then you stopped. Some would say that you did it because of me but you were relieved that I want no sex. Ahh Nate that sweet. Now I wish I was Lucas."

"You can't tell him. He must not know."

"He must not know what?"….


	2. Chapter 2

Standing there was the second to last person that I really did not to see at this moment in time.

"Brook….it's nothing. Don't worry over it, ok?" Haley says. That is when it hits me that she just defended what was going on instead of lying. This is one thing that I like about her and one that I dislike all the same.

"It must be something if you are sitting here, in the dark, only in a towel, with tutor girl, and you're not doing anything."

"We are just talking. That is it." I try to sound convensive. I know that if she bought my shaky voice then I wonder about her brains.

"If you say so, but you know I'll find out."

"Why are you here, Brook?" Asks Haley. Sometimes I love that woman, as a friend.

"Oh yes. Tutor girl, I need to be tutored."

This went on for a while, with Brook asking to be helped and Haley correcting her every sentence. I got up and when to my room so I could get dressed. I open my closet. The thing hanging on my door is His hoody. It was from last weekend when the dang couch made us walk. I hated the fact that I punched him but at the same time I liked it. If that is the only way to get to touch him then I'm more than happy to pull some punches.

He gave it to me when I was unable to get my shirt. I got him his so I would not drool the whole way home. He gave it to me so that I would stay warm. I know that it had nothing to do with liking me.

I smiled and just went on with gathering clothes.

I went back to my living room just to find only Haley. That is just fine with me. She looks at me and smiles.

"I'm going to help her tomorrow after school." Dang that sucks.

"I've got training tomorrow too." I say to her.

"I wait for you. I don't need you to follow Lucas home like a lost puppy after practice."

"Ha ha funny, Just don't say that out there." I say pointing outside.

She smiles and leaves. This day is just getting over and I'm happy that it is ending. Going to bed I think how to get my 'Big Bro' to talk to me without the insults.


	3. Chapter 3

I got to school in my new car. I do swear that my dad is trying to buy me. If he truly wants me to live with him, he should tie up Lucas to my bed, hot, sweaty and dang…..that is it, no more of that.

Sitting and watching me are some of the cheerleaders that think that they are good enough for me. They might have been if it was not for the blond, blue eyed man that is now talking to Skillz. Now I feel like one of those girls with the glassy stare and the mean glare.

Haley comes out of nowhere, like always. I have a feeling that she was there almost the whole time. That is what really sucks.

I turn and growl.

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of bed." She says.

"Whatever." I really need to think up some good comebacks.

"Come on, We're going to be late. I would hate for you to be late. After all I am your tutor."

Laughing she walked away. I know that I have no choice but to follow. I know that if I don't she will give me more work. That is something that I do not want or need at this point in time.

The day went on just like any other. Jabs from both Lucas and me, a fight in practice and a long drove to my mom's place. It got good at one point; Dan came over and tried to get Deb to get me to go to him. This is getting pathetic, so I just left. I know that I have my own place but they think that I cannot make it on my own. Hello, I have a job and I will make it.

Going to my place, it's around 5, and Haley was there.

"I thought that you were going home after school. I've been calling you. You know that if you're not coming home then tell me. I was going to tutor you today remember?"

"Shit, I'm sorry Halz. I got caught between my rents again. Literally. How can I make it up to you?"

"A study session this weekend and 10 bucks."

"I get the study session, but why the 10 bucks."

"For a huge tube of Ice cream, you did have me waiting out here for an hour and a half. It is the least you can do."

Glaring at her, 10 bucks is a lot for a man on a high school job, I gave her the bill, slowly. Hey like I said, it's a lot.

She smiled, turned and did the Haley-happy-dance-walk. Dang that girl, I can't live without her nor with.

Walking up the steps with a light stomach, light wallet, and a heavy head, this day is done.


	4. Chapter 4

**Before I even start on this times part of **_**Understand**_** I want to thank:**

**Joytiger:** If it was not for you reviewing I would not have made it this far. You have drove me to chapter 4. I have started stories before and no one commeted so thank you.

**Cassisy: **Thanks. I don't know if you will get this but it does mean a lot that you commented.

**Now, on with the chapter.**

I just knew that this week was going to be bad but dang if I don't go to the NBA then I should become a physic. Not only did was Payton all over my brother, Haley did not talk to me. I think the latter was my fault, but I gave her money for that dang Ice cream that she wanted. This was the same for all the four days. This week sucked.

That was just at school. At home I got no rest, wheather it was Tim trying to party (yes on a Wednesday and Thursday), it was my parents trying to get me to come to one of their homes. I'm free of them but they don't want to be free of me. Too bad I say, just leave me alone. I even made Deb cry. This is just not my week. I get this whole weekend free from everyone.

I swear I just lied my head down for a minute. "Nate, get up. You promised me a major study session."

I grumbled, turned, thought I was going back to sleep.

"Fine be that way. I'll show Lucas that you sleep naked, in bed, with no covers."

At that I'm up. I know that I want Lucas to see me naked, on a bed, with no covers, but _I_ want it to be to show my big brother. I look at Haley and glare. Just the look on her face told me all I need to know. She is so going to get it.

"I'm up, you crazy woman. That was not fair. It cant even be 9 yet."

"Life is not always fair, you know that, and I think you should look at a clock. Bye."

I look at the dang alarm clock that I don't need, why when I have Haley, to find that is was 10:22. Dang and I swear that was not that time.

Getting up and getting dressed so she would not see me like I just was, I start my weekend.

It became 2 none so fast, I mean how can it when I'm getting math problems down my throught, and history up my…you know where.

She just did not quit.

"Helz, we've been at this for hours. Can't we take a break? One for five minutes?"

She just looks at me. Not in that pissed way but are you for real way. I felt as if I let her down.

"Fine I'll go and get us something to eat. You sit and do this one last problem and then your free."

And just like that she was gone. I stare at the door and realize that I did not order anything. Hopefully she buys something that is humanly edible not rabbit food.

I look at the problem that she had given me. Knowing that I can't do it, so my mind goes to Lucas-ville, that is where I want to be at this moment in time.

I did not hear the door open. Being out of my mind I did not even under stand what was happening behind me.

"…ate…Nate." Say a female voice in my day dream of what Lucas looks in leather…Yummy…

"Disgusting."

That brought me to the real world. I turn in time to see Lucas run out the door. The only thing running through my head…SHIT!

**Sorry for the wait. Please tell me what you think. The Good, bad, ugly, or even ideas. **


	5. Chapter 5

**This time on **_**Understand**_** I do have to say that it is going to be a little shorter than normal. I'm leaving my computer home while I go camping. SORRY. :(**

**Cassidy: how did it go this time? Thank you for your Comment. Ill try to write more when I get back.**

**Bobbysinger200: Ill try to keep on writing it. Thanks for the comment. Thanks for liking.**

**Joytiger: You might like this chapter, or I might have made it confusing. Thanks for the comment.**

**Now on with the chapter. **

There goes my leather wearing Lucas. I really did not hear Haley saying, "I told you that he was here you idiot."

I was running out the door that he just went through minutes ago. I have no clue where he was going to go. The main place would be to Payton's but that is too easy. He must know that if he went there I would find him. Unless he knew that I would not go there because that is where he would not go if it is some place that he would go, the he would go. Dang…Haley has got in to my mind and has been twisting it.

To the River court, here I come.

When I get there I realize two things: one, I did not have to run all the way here and two, I was all alone. I sit on the bleachers, which at one time I promised myself that I would not even step on it. I just stared into the blue sky. I did not even notice that it became dark or that it started to rain.

I know that there was no chance with my big brother but now it is a for sure thing that cannot be changed. I know that even if I fantasize that there would be no outcome. It is as if I became Dan, just switch basketball to Lucas.

That is what I am going to do. I am going to forget about him and go on in life. Well that would be easy if I did not see him at school on Monday, and then the entire week. Maybe I could talk to him there and… that is not going to work. My life sucks.

"What are you doing here?" Says one of the most smoothing voices behind me.

"nothing, just trying to figure out how to kill myself, or Dan so I can take over his place." I say not looking at the person.

"Don't do that or Haley would have no one to talk to when I can't listen to her." Says Lucas as he steps in to the light. "And I think that she likes you."

Now I am lost. I thought that he figured out that I liked him. "Hey about earlier…"

"Its ok." That is all I get. I mean if you found out that someone likes you then you do something about it, not 'its ok'.

"What's ok?"

"It nothing."

At this point I am now feeling like a girl. This sucks and so does he.

He starts walking away from me. It really starts to piss me off. He should really tell me the truth not walk away with simple words. Getting up and as fast as possible(tripping included) I get to him. Grabbing his elbow:

"Damn…Lucas I'm in love with you….."

**Thanks for reading. Please comment: the good, bad, ugly, or/and ideas. All are welcomed.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey, Im back. The trip was great. This what I thought of when I was gone.**

Lucas Pov.

I hate the rain. I have no clue why I have to be out in it. Ahh, yes I do. My friend Haley told me that her 'beloved' Nate was missing. Well she did not say that word for word, but he is beloved to her. They are always together, if one shows up the other is close behind.

I don't know who I am more jeluse of. Nate for the fact that he is with Haley or Haley for the fact she can make Nate smile.

When I showed up at his place with Haley this afternoon she had called his name and no response. After a minute or so he said something about leather. Haley in leather:

"Disgusting." I did not know I said that out loud. When I did I ran.

Now I'm looking for my lil' brother in the rain. I have looked everywhere for him. The last place was the river court. I doubt that he would be there. When I get there, there he was. I just stand there, watching him. His looked like he was in some type of pain. I know that it had nothing to do with Haley. She is looking for him as well. What ever he did she'll take him back. That is for sure, she is that kind of person.

"What are you doing here?" I ask. It just came right on out. I don't know if I want to know his reason.

"Nothing, just trying to figure out how to kill myself, or an so I can take over his place." That is his reason why he is sitting in the rain. I really cant tell if he is joking or not. I'll go with the latter sense he is sitting in the rain at the river court.

"Don't do that or Haley would have no one to talk to when I can't listen to her." I say as I walk forward. I want to see him better. I need to see. "And I think she likes you."

The look of confusion and wonder crosses his face. Its like he is looking and waiting for me to do something.

When he comes back to earth, he says, "Hey, about earlier…."

"It's ok." That is the only thing I can say. I really did not want to remember that he wanted my best-friend in leather. Nope don't want that image.

"What's ok?" That is one question that I did not want to explain to.

"It nothing."

I turn when I say this. I know where he is and im going to tell Haley. I really did not want to talk to him about his weird fantacys. Yep I'm not getting that image out of my head. I shiver. I was about to step on the grass when I felt something grab me and turn me around.

"Damn…Lucas I'm in love with you….."

The light that is right above him shines, I can tell that he really means what he says. That is just wrong. He is with Haley, he even has fantancys of her in…yah.

"No you can't be. It is not right. We are brothers, never say that again. You have Haley, so leave me alone." I turn and run. I don't look back to see him fall or watch him break. I just keep going.

I found Haley at my mom's café. "He is at the river court."

"you did not bring him here?" She asks. She watches me. She did not need me to answer.

"What did you do?" I just look at her. I had nothing to say. Just like that she was out the door. As she left she says, "I hope you did not hurt him."

**This is it for chapter 6. Any comments: good, bad, ugly or ideas; are all welcome. **

**Thanks for reading.**


	7. Chapter 7

**This is the next chapter of **_**Understand.**_** I hope you like it.**

**Nate's Pov**

I can only see the look of disgust in his eyes as I told him. He did not even let me down softly. 'Leave me alone,' was the thing going through my head. Over and over again, it did not stop and neither did the tears that I know was running down my face. It did not matter because of the rain the continued to poor.

The rain seemed to get as worse and my day has gone. I did not want to get up to day. I wanted to sleep and Haley woke me up. She brought over Lucas, and this happened. This is her fault. If it was not for her I would not hurt and be here.

A part of my mind knows that I did not mean that. She has done nothing but help me. I got to know her so I could get to him.

'Leave me alone.' That hurt me just as worse. I hurt a girl just to hurt myself. I know that I am the Dan's real son. I cause nothing but hurt.

I have no clue how long I was there hurt, and lost. I know that I have nothing to live for anymore. I did not want to play a game I like with the one I love that hates me. I just can't. I would hurt the team.

"Nate…Nathan…Look at me…Dammit Nate." I look up at Haley. A very wet, sad, angry Haley.

"I am so sorry Haley. I messed up. You don't have to be here. You don't have to care. I know that you are happy that you do not have to look after me no more. I have no reason, in my mind, which you need to stay. Go to him, I know that he is your best friend. I'm sorry I used you."

I continued to look at her I saw the anger leave those eyes and the sadness grow. I never meant to hurt her but she does not need me. I look down from her. I felt the last of my strength leave me. I did not even know I was not aware of the world around me.

**Haley's Pov**

I was pissed. I know that it is not something that is me but I was. I felt as if I was going to kill someone.

I look at Nathan and could not believe that he really thinks that I am going to leave him. I did fall for him before he broke my heart for the man that just destroyed his. I was not going anywhere. Well after I get done with something that is going to make me less pissed.

I grabbed my phone and called the one person that I knew was going to help me.

"Hello. This is Brooke. How can you help me?" Says the person on the other line.

"Hey Brooke, This is Haley and I need your help."

"How do you know I'll help you? I really don't know you."

"Gossip."

Just like that she was all over coming and getting us even though we were both wet. Once she got there I got Nate in the back and I hopped in the front.

"Where to?" She asks as I got in. I grin a grin that would make most people shiver.

"Karen's Café."

She looks at me and nods. She drove us there and once we were there she looks at Nate in the back.

"Do you need help with getting him inside?"

"No, I'll be right back. Then you can drive us to his place."

She looks at me as if to say, 'Where is my drama?'

I nod my head towards the café, and she nods.

I don't walk in to the shop, I barge my way in to it. This is going to happen fast and hard. I was not going to let this go by as if it is nothing. He is going to get what is coming to him.

"Lucas." As I say his name, like most people, he turns around.

The only thing that is herd in the room is the heavy slapping sound. "You had no right." Was the only thing I said.

With that done, I grabbed Brooke and out the door we went. I know that Karen is going to ask me when I come in on Monday, if I come in on Monday, what in the world I did what I did. I am going to tell her right out that her son was an ass and deserved that.

When we get in the car I could tell that Brooke might want the juicy details but she did not ask. The look on her face is 'dang did tutor girl just do that?'

I look back and watched Nate in his non-natural sleep and was happy I did what I did.

I was going nowhere.

**Thanks for reading. Please comment. The good, bad, ugly or ideas, they are all welcome.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Haley POV**

It was weird to see Nate as a zombie. Not the kind that ate flesh but he was close to it. He did not go to basketball practice and not even Dan can make him go. He spends most time studding or working. The 6-8 hours that we are in school he was not there emotionally. He did not even speak to me or even Brooke.

Monday came with more drama then when I started hanging with Brooke and Nathan. I have withdrawn myself from Lucas. I wanted nothing to do with him and the whole school wanted to know why. I stayed by Nate's side as he continued to kill himself slowly and that is not what I want. I wanted him to stand and show the man that he thought that he loved that he meant nothing and walk away. We girls do it all the time. Sometimes not that good but we do.

Lucas has come by and tried to talk to me but all I did was say, "You are not my friend. My friend would not have done what it was you done."

Just like that I walked away. He was nothing but evil to me and that is how it is going to stay.

I stay with Nate most nights; my parents think that I have a boyfriend that I don't want them to see. If Nate was in a good state, we would be at my house.

It was Friday and we just got done watching a movie that I think is his favorite. I don't know what it is called but we watch it every night.

I have no clue when I fell asleep but I thought I was dreaming when I heard the words, "Your phone is going off."

**Nate's POV**

Life was a blur for so many hours and I have a feeling that is more like days. I don't want to do much. I sort of remember Haley being there in the fuzziness but I could not tell. I know that I am still alive and kicking. I know because I still see his face and feel that pain that he has placed in me. It hurts.

I don't know what woke me up, until I heard that annoying ringtone that could only be Haley. I look up from what I would guess is my couch. I have no idea how in the world I got here or why Haley is passed out on my lazy boy chair. She looks horrible. She looks like she needs the sleep.

The ringing stopped and I get up. I have to pee. Once that aspect of the morning exercise is over I go and make us breakfast. It was not a true masterpiece. It was like my body wanted to do nothing and I know that I wanted to do this. That was it. I was hungry as if I had not eaten in years. That ring was ringing again and all Haley did was turn and roll in a ball. She did not even notice that that dang phone was going off.

I shrug and went on making pancakes because it was the only thing that I could make. I open the fridge and I could not believe what I saw on the work times that were on it. It was my monthly work times. Did I even live while I was in fuzzy-land? It was like I had 10 minutes to get to work then worked all night long. I did not have any time to think did I? I chalked it up as one of those things that I have to ask the one person that I thought would not be by my side, Haley.

By this time that dang phone has went off at least 3 more times. I was getting pissed. This is not one thing I wanted when I came back to awake land. This is it.

I walk up to her and say, "Your phone is going off."

The look on her face was funny when she realized that I was talking and walking.

"You're living, not just living dead. That is great. How are you feeling and what are you…are you cooking?"

I smile. I have no clue why but I feel just like she said, alive.

"I would be doing better if you would get that phone. And yes I am cooking."

She grabs her phone as I walk away.

"Hey, Karen. What can I do for you?"

…..

"No I have not seen Lucas today."

….

"He did what?"

….

"I am so sorry. If you need help with the café I can help."

…

"I'll be there to night with a friend. Have a good day."

I look over at her as I stir another batch of pancakes. I have a feeling that I am cooking too much of them but I know that i want my body working how I want it to. Its practice and I am going to do it.

I did not ask but with a person that just planed my day for me, I did not have to.

"It looks like I have to help with the café and you are coming with me. Karen is a little under staffed. You don't have to do much but I need you to come with me so that I can watch you and make sure that you are safe."

"Why?"

"Lucas has left town."

**Please comment. I would really love it. The good, bad, ugly or just weird, I would enjoy what you think. I need some help.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Nate's POV:**

After the news that Lucas had left town my mind went into a haze, not the one I just got out of but one that put my mind to work. If he is no longer here then I could be me. The hole that he made would still be there but it would help. I would not see him smile and laugh at the fake blonde that was my ex. It sucked.

I shooked my head to got the thoughts out of my head, I really don't want to go back to being who I was before I woke up today. When I looked forward I noticed that I was looking at Karen, Lucas' mother. I could berly breath.

"Hi." I said in a small voice. I can't even believe that it was that small. I really need to man up in my life that now really sucks. I know that I cannot leave because Haley will have my head on a platter.

"Hi Nathan, how are you?" I look at her. She is not trying to kill me so I guess that it is alright. Well, until she finds out that it was, most likely, me that drove Lucas to leave.

"I am good. You?" The manners that were giving to me by my mom still get to me when I try not to be, well, Nathan Scott.

"Could be doing better. Why are you here?" That is a very good question. I don't know how but it sucks that I have to be here so that Haley could watch over me but I know that it is a good idea. I wanted to tell her the complete truth, after all the mom of the man you love is someone that should know.

"I am here because Hells made me come." Ok so what if I cannot tell her. I am still coming out of the dang shell that I was in for a long time. Dang do I sound so weak.

"If that is what you say. Maybe you might be able to answer this but do you know why Haley slapped Lucas. I can't get it out of any of them." I have no clue what she is talking about. When did Hells slap Lucas? I don't remember. It hurts to know that I don't know when it comes to my real friends and the man that I am in love with. I wonder how much I have missed being in my depressive sleep. I really should not do that again.

"Sorry but I do not even remember that she hit him, even less on why she did it."

"I don't know either. She called him a bastard then claimed that they were not friends anymore. Then she left. This is the first time sense then that I have seen her. I know that she is always with you so I had to ask."

"How do you know that she was always with me?" It was a lagentiment question.

"Ahh…Lucas told me."I thought that it might have been willing, "I had to ask him because Haley was not answering her phone." Dang, he can't even talk about me without being asked. That sucks worse.

She started talking to me and we ended up talking about Lucas when he was smaller. I can't believe that I got all this information on the one that holds my broken heart.

When Haley what done with her shift, she came over and asked if I wanted to leave and I nod. I might like knowing about Lucas but I know that I was tired and bed sounded good.

"Do you want to work here, Nathan?" I look at my half brothers mother. She really looked as if she wanted me to work there.

"I don't know." She looked down when I said that. She really really wanted me to work there. I have no clue why but I would not mind. I have a way there and a friend here and I know that if I have trouble I can ask.

"In one week, if that is ok. I would like for my other job to know that I am leave it. I am not one of those types of people that just leaves there job."

She looks at me and smiles. "I just only have myself and Haley working and that I would like the help. Any time that you can give I would really love. So come on by if you have the time."

She waves and we leave. We get in to her car. She did not want for me to drive because she did not think I was in my right mind. To a point I was not.

"Why did you slap Lucas?" I know that my question was sudden and out there but I know that if I went around the bush we would never get there.

"I did it because he was an ass and he did not need to do what he did to you. He has not been my friend for month before you got in to my life. He does not need me no more but you do. You need me and I need you. I will not go anywhere until you do not need me anymore. Sense that is not for a long time you is stuck with me until the end of time." She laughs. That is all she does and it makes me feel funny and I liked it.

"If I was straight I would try to get with you."

She laughs harder. "That would never work. I like you as my friend. You're not my type of boyfriend material."

We sit in slight silence the ride to my house. She gets out and I did not feel like it. I know that I am tired but I do not want to get out. She looks at me from the outside with a look that is a mix of 'really' and 'are-you-coming'. I figure that I did this a lot in the last few weeks.

I open the door and she hugs me. I look down at her and found that she is crying and I had no clue how to make her stop. I was clueless on crying girls. I usually walk away but this time I was not going to.

I hug her. This feels right and I know that she knows that I want her to stop and smile.

She lifts her head up and looks at me. "I thought that you went back to that place that you have been in for so long. You should not scare me like that. I know that you do not mean it but I know that people that have suffered depression like you have can find themselves falling in it once they are out. I don't want that to be you. I want you to stay and be here. I need you to do so."

Her crying face looks at me and I know that I could not break a promise if I put one on this moment. Without a care in the world, "I am not going anywhere without you leaving me first."

She knows that I mean it with the look in her eyes.

The rest of this weekend went off with no problem, well when I went to work and gave them my 2 week notice they were not happy but they accepted it.

**Read and Review, please and thank you. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Nate POV**

School was crazy on Monday. I don't know who was happier that I was now me, the teachers or the team. Whitey smiles at me and asked me if I was coming back to the Gym that night.

I had to smile back and said I have no clue. I just put in my 2 week notice at work and I still needed to straighten up my life. He just nodded and laughed.

The teachers were not just happy I showed up also asked questions. After so long in my own head I forgot some things that I learned and I had no clue what they had taught when I was gone.

At lunch I went up to Haley.

"Hey." I said to her.

"Hey, how does it feel to be back?"

"Weird. It is like I left on a trip, the way the teachers and Whitey are acting. Everyone else is staying away from me. It sucks."

She laughs and I wanted to hit her so I did. I smacked her in the arm.

"Ow. That hurt." She said. I could tell that it was fake for the fact of the smile. "I am sorry that you are having a weird time but you are the one that left town, mentally."

My time at school ended and I had to be at work in 15 minutes. I have no clue how I did it when I was out of it but something told me that school was not top on my list of things that I did. I got there and did that. It seemed that I was able to do my job by myself with no help. I normally need help like I need air. So work was very hard for the first 2 days then I got the hang of it.

Even now that I have my head on straight, I did not want to do much but to continue to drown in myself. I found that at times I fell into the darkness that my brother created in me. The words that he spoke to me as he walked away I can hear when I close my eyes. I did not like silence. I had to be listening to something. It did matter what it was but it had to be something, even when I was a sleep. It was not something that I was good with and it made me weak, well to myself. I could not get him out of my head.

Haley's family was one of the most supportive people that I have ever met. I would have enjoyed life if they were mine. They heard me stay that to Haley and they said in the last few weeks I have been their son. So it made my day. I heard so many different stories about Haley as a baby to the point of her being a tomato.

The whole week was like that. That weekend I learned to work in the café and that was a treat. I mean the fact that Lucas' mom was letting me work for her. She learned the entire truth from Haley on that Wednesday. She asked me if she could because Karen had been asking and would not stop. It was weird when I came in on Saturday and she hugged me. She said that her son was wrong and it does not matter what I was, I was still working there.

It was fun working there and having fun while working was not one of the things I thought of when I thought of work. It was ingrate into me from birth. I was to work as hard as possible and not to make it fun because work was not fun.

Monday was just another day until I was pulled into a closet. It has been sense Payton that something like this happened. I usually was the one that pulled in Payton.

I did not have time to think because of a pair of lips on mine. It was soft and gentle and I have never felt something like this in my life. Not even with Payton, it was always a rough, hard kiss.

I let myself be pulled in to the kiss. I wanted it to go on forever and never let go. When the person that randomly kissed me stopped, it felt as if I just got hit by a cold storm and it made my legs go weak. I wanted that kiss back.

"Nathan…"


	11. Chapter 11

**Nate's POV**

Fuck. I might want that kiss back but not by this person. "Bastard." I punched and rocketed right out of the closet. This is not what I want at all. This was just a start of a new week I did not need this bullshit. For give my cursing but…fuck.

**Haley's POV**

I was told to go and find Nate. I told the teacher that he was in school today and he made me go find him. Once I do find him I am going to kill him…well not kill him but I am going to hit him hard. I was turning the corner when I watch Nate shoot out of the closet and down the hallway. I have not seen him move that fast sense he gave up basketball.

I waited until whoever it was that pulled him in the closet came out and I was going to let that person have it. The door opened and out came…

Lucas…

"What the…What are you doing back here? He just started to live again and you come back here and do whatever you just did in that closet. Tell me before I call your mother." I know the mother comment was low but he hurt Nate so much and I was not going to look the other way. I never did when I came to Nate now.

"Haley…I was…I just…" Whatever.

"Lets start with the Why are you back and go on from there, shall we."

"I came back for him. That is why I am back."

"Leave. I will talk to you later. I can't even look at you with out wanting to take a chunk out of you. I have to work come there and I'll talk to you. That is if your mother gets to you first." I laugh; I know that I was not sane at this time but who would be.

School ended and Nate was not in any of his classes the rest of the day. I do not blame him in the slightest. I just told his teachers he got a fever and did not want it to be spread.

I went to work with the thought of calling Nate when I get there. He was not answering my calls maybe he would pick up if I called him with the work phone.

I open the door and there he was. Karen pulled me in to the back.

"Do you know why Nate came here before lunch wanting to work?"

"Do you know that your son is back in town?" I answered her question with my own. I do know that is not how you answer a question but I wanted to know if she knew that Lucas was back in town.

"That is one thing I did not know. Do you know when he got back?"

"No but he is going to come here because I told him if he wanted to talk to me that he would have to come here. I thought that Nate would not be here so I thought this place would be the best."

At that time my pocket vibrated.

**: On my way be there in a minute.:**

I look at Karen and she nods. "I can manage the café for a while." I smile. I love Karen. I went to the front and grabbed Nate.

"Hey wait. I was doing something. Hey, let me go."

"Shut up Nate. I need you to stay back here for me. Just stay."

**Nate's POV**

I stayed just like the crazy woman told me to do. I would really like to get back to work. It really helps me not think about that kiss. I want that kiss back and that heat…before I got too far into my imagination I heard a scuffle in the other room. I got to the door to listen to what the hell is going on.

"Tell me what the hell you are doing back here." It sounded like Haley even through the door.

"I told you already I am here for Nate. That is the reason I came back here." That voice, it's Lucas' voice and I wanted to hit him. How dare he say he came back for me?

"I doubt that. You hurt him, dissed him, would not talk to him and then left. I finally got him back without him going in to the place you made him go to. You have no right back here." Go Haley.

"I know, and I am sorry. The nothingness I saw in his eyes at school, when he was at school, hurt. When he did not show up to practice, I missed him and I needed him to play against. I started to realize that he was important. I then moved I needed to get away. I played basketball there but no one was like Nathan and, in truth, I don't want anyone but Nathan by my side. I began to realize that he always was. Even when he hated me he was right there. Now he is not and I am cold. I want him there and I need him to feel something for me even if it is the hate again." …I had nothing to say to that, but we all know that Haley did.

"So what are you going to do about it? It is not like you can kiss and make up. You two weren't even together to begin with and now you want him. Did you even think that he would want you back? You broke him, Lucas, broke him. He finally got out of that funk the day we found out you left." The kiss comment made me blush, but she has a point and I can't believe it but I want to know. What is Lucas going to do?

"I am going to make him love me again. He will want me by his side just like he did back then. He will be mine just like it should have been. I love him now and I can't live without him there to kick me, kiss me, hit me and destroy me in basketball. By the way we did kiss and make up. Though I have to say I do have him hating me. You do know the line between love and hate is a thin one right?" He laughs and I wanted to hit him for it. Bastard, really he is.

"You did what, Lucas? You know that kissing someone against their will is not good. I would not be surprised if he hit you." Don't worry Haley I did. Good and hard in the gut.

"He did don't worry." Hey I just thought that. "By the way, he kissed back." Shit.

With that I heard him leave. A minute later Haley came in and looked at me. Just looked and looked.

"What?" I asked the looking was getting on my nerves.

"You kissed him."

"I did not. He pulled me in to a closet and started kissing me and…I guess I did kiss back. It felt so good. I did not even know who it was kissing me. I felt so much in that kiss that it was not funny. I could not stop it. When he let me go he called my name and I punched him in the gut. Then I ran. Can I now go back to help Karen with the café. I would really like to get this out of my mind." She nods and away I went. Tables needed to be cleaned and the evening crowd started to pick up.

**I would like to thank: **

**Ajenkins: thanks. Once I got all the chapters up and running I will fix them. I will be more careful in the future. Hope you liked this one.**

**Joytiger: Thanks for reading every chapter and giving a review. I do love it when I have someone telling me that it was good. I hope you liked this one as well.**

**Cassidy: I hope you are still reading and still liking it. **

**Thanks to all that read. Please review. I would really like it, and it does help. There is only 2 chapters left. Until next time.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Lucas' POV**

My mom has tried to make me learn to cook but just one thing happened, I burnt everything other then water (that is Haley). The things I can make are a mean sandwich and no bake pie (I don't have to cook either). I know that this not how many would do it but I do know one thing; Nathan loves to eat.

Doing an impromptu picnic with just thick sandwiches and pie is not romantic but neither is kicking your brother when he is down. I was going to make it up to him.

I learned that I need him in my life, even if he hates me or just so he can have some of the pie I can make.

I get everything set up for this 'thing'; I really don't know what to even call it. I then call him, and then I got his voicemail. Looking at the clock, it is only 9:30 on a Monday night. He can't be asleep…could he?

I called again and this time I get a, "What?" His voice was draggy, as if he just woke up and was not happy about it.

"Did I wake you?"

"L…Lucas…why are you calling me?" I guess I did and now he is wide awake.

"Do you want the answers you are looking for?"

"Yes you bastard. You know I do." I smile. He is coming around.

"Meet at the river court at 10 and I'll tell you all you want to know." With that I hung up. I did not what a fight on the dang thing. If anything I want him to eat then one a full stomach I could tell him.

I grab the basket and the blanket and off I went.

**Nate's POV**

I hear my phone go off. I just hit the hay and it is probley just Hellz telling me about some homework that needs to be turned in tomorrow. I'll just get it in the morning when I wake up.

I hit relief when the dang thing shut up. Then it goes off again. Normally Hellz would just let it go after one ring but dang, I was not in the mood for this.

"What?" I answer the phone. I should have really looked to see who it was calling me at 9:30 at night. Don't people know that others are trying to sleep?

"Did I wake you?" God that was a heavenly sound that I really did not want to hear.

"L…Lucas…why are you calling me?" I did not like that stutter. It made me sound weak. Now he has me up and listening. I know that after this call I was going to call Haley and ask her if there is any homework that needs to be done because I was not going to sleep tonight.

"Do you want the answers…" At this point I did not listen onwards. I wanted them and he knew it.

"Yes you bastard. You know I do." I wish he was here so I could kick his behind.

I was foaming so bad that I only made out 'river court' and 10.

So he wants to meet me in a somewhat public place so that I can't really hurt him. What a scared-y cat. I got dressed which was not that hard. I already had pants on, I got used to wearing basketball shorts to bed because of Haley staying over all the time. I slipped on a white shirt and I left.

I got there and Lucas…was sitting on a blanket…in the middle of the court…I have no idea how to react to that.

He turned and saw me and smiled. I don't know wither to hit him or blush. I do have a feeling that the latter did happen.

"Come and sit with me Nate. I have some food. It is not poisoned I swear." Well he did wake me up and I am now hungry so I guess I'll eat something.

I sit and had one of the big sandwiches that he had. They are good, well as long as Haley did not cook everything is good to me. We just sat in the silence of eating. I did not want to say anything. He was the one that kissed me and then invited me to a late picnic. After my third sandwich he looks at me.

"I have realized that I need you Nathan. I need you to feel something for me."

"Why?" It's a logical question. I might know the answer but still.

"It hurt to see that blank look in your eye, when you looked at me, Haley, or even just basketball. I need you Nate to be you again. I want you to show those emotions like you always have. I want to see you smile, laugh, yell, hate, and love. Even if you don't love me anymore I want you to love anyone. I want to see you free again."

"So you kissed me. Just like that, without me even saying yes or no. Why did you do that?"

"I found that I want you. All of you and that is something that took me a while to figure out. Then I left just so that I could prove to myself that I don't want or need you but you weren't there. I could not have a good or even great day without you by my side. I could not even play basketball because it did not involve you. I love you Nate and it took me kicking you when you were down, seeing you without it being you and me leaving to figure this out. That is why when I said even if you don't want me I want you to love someone, I meant it. I want you to be happy."

"Why did you come back? You must have known that I might have found something that made me happy and I would have hurt you. So why?"

"I had to. I had to see you again, and if you were happy then so was I. I was told something by a teacher, we are all made up of compounded elements. From the bones, blood, hair, and muscles everything is made the same. We are mamales, and then we are human. We then classify ourselves as other things. You might be my brother by some standards that was created by others but I love the human that you are."

I look at him. His words hit me in a place that made me happy. He said that we are not brothers in his eye but to people that love each other.

"I know that I might sound easy but I do forgive you. I love you too, Lucas and I hurt that you left but I am happy that you are back." I lean towards him and he to me. I kiss him. The fact that I was even more willing for that kiss then the last one made this one better.

Everything around me stopped and the only thing was Lucas. There might not have been a taste, I don't remember, I do though remember what it felt like to have him next to me. I can feel him touch me, grab me, and pull me towards him. This is what I wanted.

We pull apart and looks at me with those eyes that I always want to look at me like that. "Now how about you try my pie?" I laugh. This is perfect.

**I will attempt to do a lemon next time. So…yep**

**Thanks to all that have read this, faved this and liked this. **

**Any comments would really be loved.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Nate's POV**

It was Saturday and I have asked for the weekend off. Karen was happy to let me just to have the afternoon of Saturday to the afternoon Sunday off. Something about after-church rush. I was ok with that.

I was making Lucas' and my almost week dinner together. I found out that he was almost as bad at cooking as Haley. When I thought about it he did just have sandwiches and no bake pie there with him. That night still gives me the Goosebumps.

The week sucked because he had to go back and get the stuff he left behind. He got back yesterday but his mom got to him first. I hope that he did not get in _too _much trouble. I was making pasta. It was the easiest thing to make.

I was pulling out the meatballs when there was a knock at the door. I put the cookie pan on the stove and answered the door. There is clothed glory was Lucas. I reached up and kissed him. He pushed me into him. I loved this feeling. I fit right into him, and he covers me just perfectly.

That was something. The feel of him was something that I hope just does not change. That was until he pulled away from me.

"Nate, I think that you should go to the food before it starts burning." Crap he is right. I let him go then I was next to the stove. I did not have any memory of even getting there. He sat at a seat right next to the bar. He just watched me. I could say that it was creepy but it was not. I have to say that it got me hot. We both agreed that tonight it was not going to end up in bed naked.

The way he was making me it does not seem like that is going to be possible.

Dinner was good until I noticed his tongue coming out to meet the fork and noodles. He was killing me. I had to stop myself from jumping him and having my way with the boy in front of me.

He did the dishes and I watched him. I could tell that I was affecting him just like he did me. I wonder who was going to attack who first. Who indeed.

The movie that was chosen did not interest me like the man that I was curled up on. He just held me and I could not tell if he was paying attention to me or the movie. I started to kiss is jaw and he started to rub my back. I guess it was me that started it but he helped me.

I found myself on the bed that I had so many dreams on. He was going to make those dreams to come true. He had my shirt, which I spent hours on picking, on the floor in minutes. He was kissing down my chest. I have never felt this, and I did not want for it to end.

He had my nipples in his hands rubbing them hard. I could not do anything but pant and groan, I could tell by the smile that he had, this is just what he wanted.

I was going to say something until he had his lips on mine and his leg right in between mine. He then dipped his head to my ear.

"All I want for you to do is feel; let me show you what you mean to me."

He did everything to make me shake and shiver. He had me screaming and begging. All of these happened was before he was even one with me.

When he entered me, it hurt but not that much. When I thought of how his fingers were in me, I let myself relax. I wanted him to make me feel just as much as he had.

He stilled when he was all the way in. It felt so good inside of me, just like when he kissed me or even touch me. I wanted more, so I told him so. He pulled out to push back in. I feel him shutter and groan. It made me happy to know that he felt that way from being inside of me.

He tried to stay slow and easy but neither of us wanted to go slow for long. I want him and he wants me. The release that he gave me was more than just to get off, it was the fact I got off with the one I loved. I look at him and he looks at me and smiles.

"You know I love you right?" He says to me. I just nod; my throat was not feeling good. He grabs me and pulls me in. With that we sleep.

~~~~Next morning 10:30~~~~

**Outside POV**

A woman opens an apartment door and walks in.

"You better have a reason why you did not call me last night. You told me that you would tell me about the date. If Lucas hurt you I will kill him." She opens the door to the bedroom still talking. "I swear that he is going to get…AHH SHIT." It was at that moment the woman promised that she would never open that door without knocking ever again.

Inside there was two men sleeping, naked, over the covers and still bonded.

**This is the end. How was it? I am still not good with those scenes. I felt that it should be love.**

**Any comments are welcomed with open arms.**

**Thank you for reading. Have a good day.**


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